Her shirt is bright blue. A deep sea blue. The pretties blue of all. Small plastic blue buttons hold it closed. And small pockets are on the front. They are cute but useless. The sleeves are rolled just below her elbow. A strap and a button holding them. With her long white arms she fidgets with the cord to her ear buds. They are white, and small and round. She works on her laptop. While she looks young, at the same time her has an air about her. As she scratches her head. Long dirty blonde hair is tied back. Something about her suggests she is older than she looks. Her iPhone sits next to her laptop. Her eyes are focused on her work. The lids slightly closed. The eye brows arched as she considers something. There is a ring on her left hand. Her fingers slow as they tap. Neat and pretty nails at the end of each finger. But not painted nails. They are natural. She puts off an air of naturalness. Her face is round and pretty. Lips in a smooth line. Not a smile, but a look of focus. She wears gold loop earrings. They are large and thin, hanging down to her shoulders. More like tear drop shapes than loops. She has no ring on her left hand. She rests her face in it now. As her right hand strokes the touch pad. On her right hand are two thin bracelets. Her dark eyes are concerned. They focus tight and relax. Just to do it all over again. Her hair is coming lose from the ties. One by one the strands slop out. A few rouge strands are bunched together. They hang down in front of her shoulder. As she reads and nibbles on a nail. Then goes back to typing. There is sadness in the curve of her lips, and the round of her chin. Her fingers have paused for the moment. But thoughts races across her forehead. You can see them in the lines.
The library is sunny today. Outside the weather is warmer. Inside the air is on. But it isn’t that warm yet. Tree branches and leaves dance in the wind. A small white car drives by on the street. The sky is so blue, only small white clouds dot the space. A light blue, much lighter than the blue of the woman’s shirt. The tree leaves are a rich green. They back in the rays of the sun. Hundreds and hundreds of natural sunbathers taking in the heat of the sun. Drinking in its energy. This is a great mid-spring day for a walk about town.
She takes up her bottle and drinks fully. Placing the bottle back she types with ease. Fingers moving across letters. Words coming into form from her mind. She picks up phone. She is a woman attempting to live her life. Like all of us with the struggles it holds. We each have our own challenges. And we all try our best to overcome. But the best for some of us is not as good as our best. And our best is not as good as what many others can achieve. We are all pilgrims on the same journey. Do not judge your fellow traveler. Help them instead. When you can, where you can, how you can.
Putting the phone down her pretty fingers go back to work. There is a deep beauty about her. Like the deep blue of her shirt. A lose glamour like the lose threads of her hair. Natural like her nails. But also sad like the round tension on her chin. We are all these things, she is all of us. I want to know this woman, but I am this woman. I am the man in the white shirt next to her. Slightly over-weight and listening to library headphones. The woman stares into the distance for a moment. Lost in thought maybe. But goes back to her project. There is something deep in the dark of her eyes. Like the night. Chill like the wind. Lost like a child, which we all are inside. She is typing faster now. Her lips firm and thin as she sighs and goes on. Her ear rings glimmer in the library light.
The library is full today. A older woman talks to the librarian. While a man looks at CDs. Three people browse the New Books rack. And a mailman uses the internet express computer. But I haven’t seen the library beauty this week. She might be in the backroom. Toilets flush in the bathroom. The two male librarians confer about an issue. The mailman has printed something and gets up. The man in the white shirt focuses on his screen. He is chewing gum, or eating. He is balding, a few strands lay over the top of his head. A young male looks at children’s books. And the woman is still typing and working.
She takes a break to stretch her fingers. But just for a moment, and then back to work. This is a project of importance. You can see it in her frown. By a tension in her shoulders. By the firm lines of her lips. And her eyes ask a question. What is so worrisome for the woman? What are the struggles which take her smile away. She looks away at the wall and sighs a tired breath.
Everyone has gone now. It is me, the man in white and the woman. The librarian fishes behind a large bookcase with a pole. He is attempting to pull out signs.
The woman is getting more tired. She rubs her lips with one finger. Then goes back to typing. Rolling her lips over each other. The librarian has got his signs and left. The woman types one key and stops. As she scratches her head, more hair slops out. The librarian has come back with a rag. Now he fishes out the dust behind the bookcase. The library air is silent. Noise from the street leaks into the room. A small boy loudly asks for help from the librarian. He is 9, and his name is Owen he states.
The woman wraps up her headphones. Packs up her laptop and her phone. She takes her small brown fabric bag and leaves. The slightly over-weight man in the white shirt remains. The boy is with his mother now. A woman looks at movies. The table is empty of people. I have been here for almost an hour now. The weather is calling for me to stroll along the street. Take a moment to breath the fresh air.
It is late. And I thought I would just write for a while. Not a horoscope. Maybe there will be time in the stars for the stars tomorrow. I used to write so much about stars. Not those stars. The other stars. The ones who crash their cars while trying to chase down personal assistants.
Baby Girl is resting here. She is always so calm and sweet. I got her some different food, which she doesn’t seem to like as much. But she is eating it, and I’ll remember not to buy it again.
I actually feel like I am in a good space in life right now. Of course there are many things which need to change. But there is much good too. I have some good friends, which is something I haven’t always had. And changes at work look like they might be good for me. There has been talk about a number of jobs becoming available which I could fill. And they would all be a little more pay and out of the deli. There is really only one reason I want out of the deli. But I am making an effort to not talk poorly about people. Because I don’t know where other people are in life. Some were never taught better. Some are young and will change as they grow. I know I have developed as person and a worker as I have gotten older. Don’t call me old yet though. So, the best choice is to just leave it alone.
It is almost 2 a.m. and I am already thinking about dreamland. I get to sleep and sleep and sleep for the first night in many tonight. And let me tell you I could really use the sleep. It has been a long week, and kind of stressful. But a good week as well. I think there is reason to believe things are going to get better soon.
But I wanted to write before bed. It has been so long since I have put any words of value in this space. I don’t even know if I can count the horoscopes as words of value. Tomorrow I will be going to the library, so I will be doing a post there and I hope to have time to do a tarot post and then an astrology post. There are still two novels in the process of being written which I haven’t added to lately. And I will, soonish. But tomorrow is my only day off this week. And I don’t want to stress myself out too much. I want to enjoy the day a little. I mean yes, I enjoy writing. But what I learned from news is anything you enjoy is less fun when you feel pressured to do it. So, I don’t plan to pressure myself too much tomorrow.
I do miss news and would love to move back to a news job. If I move up at Walmart it would make the pay situation harder to justify in terms of taking a news job. But maybe at some point in the future the right job will come along. I have to keep the door open and an ear to the ground – as they say.
Okay. this might be enough. I really just want to sleep for days right now. And dream lovely dreams about girls and mountains. All the best dreams I have are about either girls or mountains or both.