The New Couch

There it was, as amazingly new as he dreamed. He took out his phone for a picture. Moments like this were for sharing. And Instagram made for this sharing. There in front of him sat the new couch.

His old couch was gone. He had left it outside like trash. How many movies had he watched. How many girls did he kiss. And nights he slept restfully in its embrace. But in the end all those moments were pushed out the door. And left by the curb. Like trash.

After a cold night someone came and took it away. It was for their dogs. Which was just as well. Because it had rained hard all night long. Where it had been soft before it was failing. Maybe it felt the loss of being cast aside. It no longer was wanted or needed. There was a new couch.

When he sat down the couch didn’t sag under him but was firm. The arms weren’t torn, but smooth. And there he sat looking out the window. The truck with his old couch pulling away down the street. This was a new day. It was his day. For today he felt like an adult with a new couch.

Time for a selfie with the new couch. Soon his phone was ringing.

“Yes, come over and see my new couch,” he told his girlfriend. And she came with her puppy. The three of them had been watching Lord of the Rings for the last several nights. Curled up like a cuddle puddle on the couch. The puppy went to jump and instantly he blocked his small friend.

“Maybe we can keep the dog off the couch,” he suggested. His girlfriend’s expression spoke to her feelings and it wasn’t good. So he pushed the couch back and they watched Netflix on the floor. After an hour she took her puppy and went home.

The couch awed him as he pushed it back to the center of the room. He grabbed the remote, placed it on the arm of the couch and went for food. When he came back the remote was on the floor. He picked it up and put it back on the arm. After going to the bedroom for a blanket he came back. And the remote was on the floor.

His old couch had large soft arms with a small patch of worn fabric. He would rest the remote there and it didn’t fall. But the remote fell off the new stuffed smooth surface. He pulled the table closer, and set the remote on the table.

But he felt restless after a moment and got up. Moving towards the kitchen he banged his knee on the table. Then tripped on the table leg. The table tilted and the remote and diner fell on the floor. He wasn’t watching his show. Now he was cleaning the carpet. This was a rental after all.

Note to self, he suggested sitting down. Be more careful. But the firm couch while comfortable lacked comfort. It was soft. But wasn’t warm like he start to recall his old couch. The news was on so he got up again, and tripped on the table leg. Again his remote fell on the floor. Where he left it. Time for bed. But it was early, and his bedroom was cold. His girlfriend has always turned on the heat because she got cold. But tonight she left early. He could turn the heat on now. But it would take time to heat his bedroom.

I can sleep on my new couch he thought to himself. But laying down he couldn’t find the right position. His arm was in the way. The couch arm was in the way. The cushions were in the way. The table got in the way and his remote fell on the floor again. He bounced around under the blanket. But never was able to settle into the over stuffed couch. This new and amazing couch was what he had wanted. But now it was turning against him.

He sat up and thought about going after his old couch. But it was too late. And all he could do was sit there and think about where he had gone wrong. He felt like the trite character out of a children’s book. The careless sap who throws out a gem. At least the dogs would be sleeping in comfort. He turned on the TV and tried to relax into his new albatross.

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