You start with nothing. Write nothing. And it is all born.
What can I tell you about living my life. I wake up too early. Sleep too much. Eat too little and work.
This morning the air was cool and fresh. The light filling the sky. Morning comes on slow. My life is slow. I feel like I am going no where. Stuck in traffic. Asleep at the wheel. I sat for an hour on the freeway in traffic. But is this my life. Is this really my life?
I nap when it is hot. And then I nap when it is cold. When I’m not at work. I nap. The cat soft against me, or resting on my lap. Netflix playing to an empty room. How many times have I had to revisit scenes missed as I napped. The only time I don’t sleep enough is at night. Can there ever be too much napping in this world?
When I spend too much time at work. I’m not sure what to do when I am at home. I’m not reading a book. Or writing. So I take a nap. What a failure. Anyone can nap their lives away. Maybe I should go to the gym. Maybe I should go to the store. I’ve thought about the girl at the gas station every day. And I am no closer to going back. The car wash was bad. I can’t pretend to buy something as reason to see her again.
I’m not getting my job done at work. At maybe this will change as people are hired. But I feel like I should be doing more. And doing it faster. I can’t get it done on time. And I wonder if this is the right choice for me. Or I am the right choice for this. Next week will be better. The sun will come out tomorrow.