Tag Archives: Vancouver

My Story as told by Lilith

This isn’t me. Or rather it isn’t who you think. I’m Lilith. The unseen twin of our author.
Growing up we used to spend a lot of time together. It was him and I. On long walks we got to know each other. No one else ever knew me. No one at all. The rest of the family didn’t understand.

Going to school was hard. It tore us apart. He was often mocked by other kids. And it hurt me to see. All I wanted was to get back at those kids. But I couldn’t. And he wouldn’t. So I had to watch. Knowing it hurt him, made it worse. Did anyone pay attention to him like me.

In the sixth grade he was dying for attention. I saw him do things he shouldn’t have for others. I wanted to stop him. Tell him to love himself. But I didn’t love myself. I did love him. And I felt like he loved me. We always would have each other. And I always stayed with him.

In high school we would eat together. Just the two of us. His other sister has her own friends. So we had each other. And it was all we needed.

And I went to college with him. At first it was like he didn’t need me anymore. Though we were always together. But then we got closer and closer. I know the tart Harmony broke his heart. And I know it was his fault. And yes it still hurt to watch. I wish I could have told him it was coming. But would he have listened. He listens to me more now.

On the streets we kept each other warm. Closer than ever. When M came around, I was still there. She was someone who was good for him. And I loved her as much as he loved her. She made him happy. And this made me happy. We weren’t as close. But I preferred it to his being so sad all the time. Sad and alone.

But M also broke his heart. And mine to be honest. I trusted her with my best friend. He took it hard. It was hard to comfort him. Over time he healed. He met Heather, and I never trusted her. But, she made his life a little better. Until she didn’t.

We had moved to Portland. He had a job he enjoyed. And was making a decent enough income to support us. His first place was a dump. I hate dogs, so I hated the house. Dogs in and out and messing on the floor. In the next house his roommate was crazy. I liked him, but never trusted him. Soon we moved again. Then we traveled.

Rainbow Gatherings are my favorite. And the one in Pennsylvania was grand. We played. We read. We ate and slept. It was an adventure. An adventure which lead to another adventure. Meeting Laura, Pam and Shaylyn. Then a couple months later moving in with Shaylyn and Pam in Upstate New York. There was something I liked about Ogdensburg.

Problems caused us to move again. And again. Then to live alone. It was just him and I again. We still had each other. We would always have each other. He had some friends for a while. But they drifted away and we spent our time together.

We moved back to California. Went to another great gathering. And fell in love with Boulder. I think I loved it even more then he. It was my idea to name the kissing bridge. Maybe someday we can kiss someone on the bridge. He started talking to M again. And fell in love again.

His plans were to move back to Portland. There was another girl he liked and was moving with to Portland. But they didn’t work out and he fell for M hard. Even harder than last time. I accepted her. But I couldn’t love her again. And I couldn’t trust her again. They broke up. She told him on the answering machine she was pregnant. And I feared for him. There was no baby in the end. He never shared much about his feelings.

We moved back to California. Went to a gathering. Found a great job working in the High Sierras. I loved it up there in those mountains. And I could live up there forever. If only he would allow us to leave the city. The next stop was Yosemite. Which I also loved, but not as much. He was happy in Yosemite too. But then he felt like it was too small. After saving money he got us out of there, to Stockton. I hated Stockton.

And I never saw him. Work, work and school. All the time. No time for himself and no time for me.

Things slowed down when he moved to Arcata. I loved hiking in the forest. And he enjoyed it too. The college wasn’t hard for him. Working still took a lot of time. The first year it was a job he loved. Until they fired him. And he hasn’t ever loved a job in the same way since. Well, until Walmart. The next job he worked was at CVS.

Then we moved away to Wyoming. What an amazing place to live. Snow and cold. Mountains and open plains. Take me home to Wyoming. This is where I would choose for us to live. But the job let him go. We wondered around for a while. Not lost, but seeking. And landed back in Arcata.

There he fell again. He doesn’t fall often. But when he does it is hard. I liked this girl. And I thought we could be friends. But it isn’t as easy for me as it is for him. And it really isn’t easy for him. They were close. Seemed like there was so much they had in common. And I started to believe she loved and cared about him. Maybe I could lose him to her, but then she tore his heart in two. This was a dark moment for him.

But we still had each other. We still held on to each other. In those days he hung on to me closer than ever. We only had each other. His friends didn’t really know his feelings like me.

We moved to Colorado. And Nebraska. Then Texas. Those states were hard for both of us. We were both alone. And only had each other. It was worse than high school.

But now we live in Vancouver. He has a job he loves. Working at Walmart. The sad part is the pay is not enough. I want him to do better for himself. I encourage him to seek another job. And he does, but you can tell his heart isn’t in finding something new. He wants to get promoted. But I don’t trust his managers to see him for the asset his is to them.

We shall see.

2015

It was a good year.
At the start of 2015 I lived with Michelle. I was working as an un-loader at Walmart. In fact I rang in the New Year at work.

In January I started to work IMS on weekend mornings. Which wasn’t a ton of fun. Most of all when I had to work until midnight. And then come back at 8 a.m. But it was a good experience. Good to be doing something other than nights. I had hoped to learn in the process. And I did about inventory. A system which has completely changed.

I didn’t learn much about the rest of the store.

In the spring I had some trouble with a co-worker. And it helped me to see something. Working in the backroom wasn’t getting me anywhere. So I agitated and got relocated in the store. I had talked to another store about a transfer. But they didn’t offer me anything better. I am glad I stayed with 5899.

The new job was in produce. It was Scott, Allen, David, Elias and I. At first I had a few shifts in produce and some in deli. Then for almost two months I worked in the deli. During this time the deli changed managers. At first Joe was manager of both bakery and deli. But they split the departments and added a manager. I thought for a moment I had a chance. But it went to Tammie. And it was a good choice.

Working in the deli was fun. A lot going on. Slicing meat, cooking food, checking times, making chickens and pizzas, discounting food, cleaning, stocking and pulling food. Closing isn’t hard. But it does take a while, at least for me. When I started the oven was dirty. You couldn’t see through the doors. I managed to get them clean enough to see through. Although each door took me about an hour. Now they are staying clean, so far. In the deli I worked with Justin, Rose, Ann, Barb, Carolyn, and Gregg. Of course some did more work than others.

My memories of the deli are of some of the great customers. There is a cute girl me and Justin find attractive. She comes and gets sliced meats. But she has a boyfriend. Also trying to learn to write on cakes. Being in deli is always moving. There is always something to do. Cook, CVP, pull, cook, CVP, pull. You have to stay ahead of the hungry masses. It is a challenge. And I like the challenge.

Eventually things changed. Daz joined the deli. And I got moved back to produce. At first I was working a few days in each department. But for a long while I was just working produce. Allen left and they hired a new Justin. Allen had been full-time, so now they needed me in produce. I worked two opens, 5 a.m. to 2 p.m. and three closes. 1 -10 p.m.

Working in produce was a bit slower. But I also got pulled more from produce. It was rare I worked a full shift in my department. Either I got pulled to the cashier, or carts or the backroom. But I love to be flexible. I love to do it all. Oh yeah, sometimes I got pulled to dairy, and deli too. Almost anywhere. One day they even asked me to sweep the floor.

The fun part about produce was putting product out. And changing things around. I never know if Scott likes what I do. But if I see an end cap low, and a bunch of product in the back. I take action and put the new product on the end cap. I’ve moved things around a lot when I had the time.

My weakness in produce is culling. I can break down three large pallets, fill the bananas and stock the floor. But culling is where I fail all the time. It is an area I continue to focus on improving. Working with Scott hasn’t been easy all the time. He does things differently than I would. But I think we respect each other. And I enjoy working with him.

One night I was pulled by Robin to help Dan. We were going to unload a trailer out back. And then the power blipped. It was enough to reset the registers and I thought I got out of going outside. But I didn’t. Once the lines were down, they sent me out back with Dan. It wasn’t too bad. It was good to work with Dan again.

On Black Friday I worked in Roberto. We were on a que line. Our product was tablets. And I thought about buying one. But by the time I got off work they were all gone. It was really a boring day. Wait and wait and wait. It was a slow day for me and for the store. After the event we started to condense items in the action alleys. I remember this from last year. We had a ton of stuff left over. But in the next few days most of it sold.

The period between Black Friday and Christmas was busy. But nothing extreme. Until Christmas Eve. The lines were busy all day. I was scheduled for produce but spent the entire day on registers. At one point Shannon closed my line. It slowed for a moment. She told me to go back to what I was doing. I took a break and then things were busy again so I got on register again.

At the end I went to talk to Produce Justin. He didn’t even know I had been there all day. Since then business has slowed a little. I still get called to the front. But more and more I spend time in my department.

For the last couple weeks my schedule has changed again. I’ve been working two opens in produce, and two closes and then a day in deli. Which is 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Which is a fun schedule because it gets me out of produce one day a week. I like working with the deli people. Even Gregg who barely works, and Rose who is just a pain sometimes.

Deli Justin has moved to the front end as a CSM. I am sure he will do a good job up-front. It will take time to adjust to his not being in the deli. And I doubt anyone is going to clean like he did. A new girl is taking over his shifts, but it is yet to be seen if she will perform well.

Also there are other potential changes moving into the new year. A potential opening in Infants and Shoes. As well as a possible change within my department. I would like to move away from Walmart in 2016. But at the least I hope to grow to a better position with the company.

As for non-work news. I almost forgot. Which says something about me I guess. I lived with Michelle until the summer. Then I moved in with a friend. Now I have to pay rent, $300. But it is a good room. It is warm and I can use the bathroom indoors. Baby Girl seems to be happy here.

When I moved in it was just my friend and his girlfriend. But her sister also moved in. Which is okay, the house is big enough and we are all busy people. They are all friendly. In terms of space I’d love to move. But in terms of comfort and people, I like it here.

I haven’t done much with friends. A walking partner stopped talking to me this summer. I’m not sure why. And a co-worker I used to do things with too. She said my car was too hot. It bothers me a little I don’t have more friends. Some old friends have been hard to get together with because of time and space. I don’t hear much from Heather.

I did get to know a friend of Michelle’s. And I plan to visit her in a couple weeks. It will be good to see her. And good to see where things develop. Problem is she lives far away.

I am more glad this year I moved to Portland/Vancouver than I was last year. Though I do think about moving again from time to time. If there was a great job, or some other opportunity I would move in a moment. In a couple weeks I go back to California. And I’ll see friends, and there is a chance I could find a reason to move back.

Timeline of events

I graduated from high school in the summer of 1994. My first year of college was fall of 1994. And spring of 1995.

I spent the summer of 1995 at college, living in the dorms. I worked at Subway.

My second year of college was from fall of 1995 to the summer of 1996. It was at the start of 1996 I became vegetarian. And I started my period on the streets in the summer of 1996.

For most of 1996 I was in Santa Cruz. But I spent time in San Francisco. In the winter months early in 1997 I met Amy. And I lived with her for a couple months. Until I met M.

Over the summer of 1997 M and I traveled. We went to my first Rainbow Gathering. Then we visited her father in Seattle. Afterwards we hitch-hiked our way across the country to Cambridge, Massachusetts. And we hitch-hiked back.

It was the winter of 1997 I went to visit M for Thanksgiving. We made plans for me to move and live together.

In the spring of 1998 I moved to Portland. Plans with M didn’t work out. After a few wet months I rented a room in a house. The first time I paid rent in my life, if you don’t count the college.

I lived in Portland until the spring of 1999. In the summer I went traveling with a friend across the country. We went to my second Rainbow Gathering.

After coming home to Portland, I moved to upstate New York. This is where I was for New Years 2000. But in the spring of 2000 I went back to California, and then to my third gathering. This one was in Montana.

After the gathering I went to Colorado. And then back to California. I moved to Portland again in the fall of 2000. I was in Portland for the election of George W. Bush. But I moved again early spring.

Once again plans were made with M. But once again things changed. So I moved back to California. I spent a month at Mother’s. But I got a job at a camp in the Sierra’s for the summer. It was 2001. And in the fall I went to New York City. Yeah, just one month after 9/11.

It was because a friend invited me to visit. After three months, she said no one ever visited for three months before. And I started back to California. It was 2002. Along the way I visited Alabama where a friend lived.

In the spring of 2002 I lived with Mother, and my sister for a short period. After a short trip to Portland to visit friends, I went traveling again. And I went to my fourth Rainbow Gathering. Before making a visit to Boulder. Then returning to California.

Back in California again. I worked at the summer camp. There I met someone who told me about Yosemite. After the summer I moved to Yosemite.

Yosemite was my home from winter of 2002, to early in 2005. A little over two years. Then I moved to Stockton. And I went back to school. After a year and six months I moved to Humboldt, and Humboldt State. The summer of 2006.

I lived in Arcata from the summer of 2006, until early 2009. Then I moved to Wyoming for my first real reporter job. And I lost my first real reporter job and moved back to Arcata.

This time I lived in Arcata from late spring 2009, until fall of 2010. When I moved to Colorado. After six months in the mountains I moved to Nebraska.

I arrived in Nebraska in January of 2011. And I moved away from Nebraska in the summer of 2012. Texas was the next place I lived.

And I lived in Texas from the summer of 2012, until the summer of 2013. For the last two years I have lived in Vancouver, Washington.

New Years Day Location:
1990-1994 Coarsegold
1994-1996 Scotts Valley
1997 Santa Cruz
1998 Santa Cruz
1999 Portland
2000 Glens Falls, New York
2001 Portland
2002 New York City
2003-2005 Yosemite
2006-2010 Arcata
2011-2102 North Platte, Nebraka
2013 Lubock, Texas
2014- Vancouver, Washington.

Okay, shows over time to go home. No, I just wanted to lay out the timeline for a confusing lifeline. It took me a good deal of thought to get it straight in my own head. And I was there, well mostly there. Now I can go back and tell the stories. If you get lost you can return to this chapter to guide you. I think I will have to come back myself.