“We are alone.”
“Does anyone know?”
“No.”
“It feels good doesn’t it?”
“With you here, like this alone? Yes.”
“And why can’t we…”
“Please we don’t have much time.”
“Do you love me?”
“Yes, I love you. But I…
“There is no but is love Charles.”
“I love your butt.”
“Pervert!”
“May, please.”
“Don’t please me.”
“Okay, then I won’t.”
“No, no please do. I wait all week watching you across the hall.”
“And I watch you dear.”
“Why are we so silly?”
“Love isn’t silly…”
“Not love you fool. We’re not loving, we are silly.”
“What are we doing now?”
“Hiding, and love doesn’t have to hide.”
“I know.”
“You’ve known for ten years Charles. But in all these years you haven’t changed.”
“I have changed.”
“Not towards me dear, and I think it is time I changed.”
“But May, my life without you?”
“I think you’d better get used to the idea. Tonight may be the last night we will be together.”
“What can I do? How can I…”
“You know what, you know how, but you won’t.”
“The kids, the house, my career. How can I throw it all away?”
“And what have I given up these last ten years? I could have started my own family. My own man, my own child, my own life.”
“You want a child May?”
“Not with you! Not now, and I am starting to think not ever.”
“But May, I would…”
“Would do anything unless it is something difficult. I think you want to have your cake and eat it too.”
“You aren’t being fair.”
“Fair, you disgrace the word by letting it form on your lips.”
“And what about your husband?”
“My husband is different. I would leave him, I have before.”
“Then why haven’t you?”
“And be alone when you turn me to the cold? You’ve said you couldn’t leave her. You said it Charles. You said it.”
“I want to leave her. I want to be with…”
“No you don’t, stop it. If you wanted to do it, you would. At this point I have to believe you like a little on the side. And you like your life with a safe woman, children and job.”
“But we could have…”
“I am not and never will be your safe woman. I hope you remember tonight well.”
“You going to walk out of my life? Go back to the putrid fellow you married in high school?”
“He is a good man. He is…”
“A drunk who doesn’t love you. Who spends all his time at work or on the golf course.”
“You have no right…”
“When was the last time you made love? Made love with passion the way we make love?”
“I don’t know Charles.”
“Any wonder you don’t have children.”
“I can’t stay. I can’t go. What can I do?”
“Don’t cry dear. I am sorry. I really don’t want to lose you. I would…”
“Stop it you asshole. I don’t want to hear anymore of your ‘I would’s. Because you never do any, and I doubt you.”
“Doubt me?”
“How can I not doubt your love for me? I lay awake at night with my pillow. The tears are the only thing real.”
“What should I do?”
“Take my hand from me now. Take me body and soul. I want all of you.”
“You barely took all of me last time.”
“Stop being an asshole. You know I am not making some childish joke.”
“I am sorry.”
“I know you are, now apologize.”
“You’re funny.”
“Don’t touch me, and keep your pants on. I don’t want you to touch me. I am nothing to you.”
“Nothing. After all these years, how can you say such a thing?”
“After all these years, exactly. What have you done for me? Flowers on my birthday Charles. My fucking mother sends me flowers too.”
“You know if I were to…”
“Yes, what would people say? Maybe they would see we love each other. Maybe they would know it is the right thing.
“Where are you going?”
“I don’t know. I don’t care. I just need space and time.”
“Please…”
“Take your hands off me. Stop trying to hold me.”
“May…”
“You know how badly I want to kiss you right now. How much I want to lay down in this cheap hotel bed with you? How much I want to feel you inside me.”
“I want it too baby.”
“I know. But not today.”
“Fine, you walk out the door. Walk away from everything we have together.”
“What do we have together? A hour of sex on your lunch break every Friday. I spend more time with the barista at the corner.”
“You fucking him too.”
“Her, she’s 16 and hot. And she would be better in bed than you.”
“I get it, you like girls.”
“Hey prick, it was a joke. What I really want is a man who loves me.”
“I love you dear.”
“Love me on my back. Love me with my underwear around my ankles. But you have no idea who I am. Where did I grow up?”
“Nebraska.”
“Nebraska! Have you been hit in the head? I was born and raised in Alaska.”
“Isn’t it close. Out west some place.”
“Why did I ever fall in love with a east coast snob like you.”
“I don’t know geography, so what?”
“My favorite colour?”
“Blue.”
“Have you ever seen me in blue underwear? They are all green, do you even pay attention?”
“I am just tired.”
“Tired. Me too. Goodbye.”
“Please Nancy.”
“Nancy is your wive’s name.”
(a Room to Write exercise)