Daily Archives: March 30, 2016

My questions for today

I was at work watching TV. It was some Law and Order show. They mentioned a person who had a total break from reality. And I thought to myself. How do I know I’ve not had a total break from reality? I mean really. It scares me a little to think about if I would even know. I’m not suggesting I’m really tied up in a bed somewhere, like in The Matrix. Though of course this is possible. But even worse. What if none of the things I talk about make any sense to anyone else in the world. What if the people around me humor me the way you would a child. How do I know anyone actually likes me as a person? And they’re not just being nice. At the one end of the range everything we think we know to be true could be a lie. And in some ways it would be okay. And on the other end, everything we think is true is 100 percent true. But I have strong reasons based on experience why I know this isn’t true either. There have been too many women I thought were interested in me – and they were not. So, I am stuck with a world where somethings I believe are true, and some aren’t. And this is harder. Because if it was all a lie, there would be no truth to worry about knowing. But is a world where our minds fail as often as they get it right. You have to figure out what is real and what isn’t real. And the only took you have to do it is your mind. Which is a tool you have no accurate way of testing to see how well you can trust its results. I could check my scale by standing on another scale. But I can’t look at my mind from another person’s mind. While a friend may tell me, “no, it is okay,” I don’t know their motive do I? And it doesn’t have to be a bad motive. How do we know what is true and what is false in our worlds? Again, I am not worried about the big things. I want to know about the little things. The things which are the hardest to look at and the hardest for people to be honest about in life.

And if you could be sure you’re sane. Is there any way to know for sure you wouldn’t lose it at any moment. Some organic or chemical trigger inside your brain. Or a mental, emotional, spiritual, physical trauma. Like a light switch you go from being you, to being someone else. Someone lost in their own mind.