Be Bold

“I want to do something bold.”

“Something like what?”

“Something I will be proud of tomorrow. And I want to do it with you.”

“I believe in you.”

“Right now I want to kiss you.”

“And then?”

“How about we quit our dull lives, in nondescript towns. How about we run away together.”

“Where do you want to go?”

“A new town, for both of us. An art town in Colorado. Or a dusty place in Arizona. A conservative village in Kansas.”

“Kansas?”

“My dear I could go anywhere if I was with you.”

“Anywhere?”

“The world couldn’t harm me if I had the harbor of your arms at night. I could face anything as long as I could row my small boat ashore on your heart.”

“And what would we do?”

“We would start a new life, create a life worth living for both of us. Create lives which are works of art. Be the people we have always dreamed of being before it is too late.”

“And our love will keep us alive?”

“Yes, yes it will. We can start a healing center. A cafe, a restaurant, a tea shop, a tarot-astrological foundation, a yoga gym.”

“I like the sound of your dream.”

“And it would take something even more daring. A whole new level of bravery for both of us.”

“Marriage?”

“Yes, we need to commit to each other in a real way. In a way we know we can risk it all and we will struggle together. We have to know we won’t be alone.”

“I don’t want you to be alone anymore.”

“And I don’t ever want to leave you.”

“Can we do this?”

“Can we continue to live these lives which aren’t taking us anywhere? I want to live my dream. To walk my true path at least for one breath of my life. And if it is my last breath, I will die happy.”

“When do you want to do this?”

“I don’t know. I am scared.”

“Why?”

“The problem with being brave is you don’t know tomorrow. It is hard to tell what you will look back on and be proud. And what you will look back on and wonder how you were so stupid. There isn’t much which divides the uniquely brave from the uniquely stupid.”

“But you aren’t stupid.”

“And neither are you. And I am afraid for how much I love you.”

“Afraid of love?”

“Yes, and afraid of how far apart we are right now. There seems to be a world between us.”

“But I feel close to you.”

“And I feel close to you. Can I hold you for a moment. And kiss you again?”

“Yes.”

“I feel far away from myself. The self which used to climb mountains. The self which dared to love. As much as  I search for this person. I never seem to find him.”

“I found him.”

“But what if I fail you. What if love isn’t enough to feed us when we are hungry. Because I don’t know love.”

“What do you mean you don’t know love.”

“My fear has always been understanding love. And knowing it was love and not lust, or simple base needs. You are an amazing jewel, an angel and a goddess.”

“Thank you. You are amazing too.”

“But I wonder if I can  be the man for you? I fear my own doubts for myself make me less of a man.”

“Please don’t be afraid and kiss me again, it will help you.”

“Do you think you could really love me?”

“I think I do.”

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