Three different but accurate views of me

Loner: I spend my time alone. Much of it reading or sleeping. My best friend is my cat. Together we lay on my bed. I watch Netflix, old shows on YouTube and she naps. Sometimes for holidays I reach out to friends. But on most days they don’t contact me. And I don’t contact them. I feel tired and busy a lot. And never feel much like going out into the world. I feel awkward and uncomfortable when not at home. I have a deep regard for good art. And of course good writing. When I get motivated I write good things myself. Crowds make me nervous and tired.

Socialite: I know everyone at work. It is natural to take a moment to say hello to people. I’ve been there over two years. And I work a range of shifts. But I also just am outgoing. There is a natural interest in others. “hi, how are you today?” I enjoy people. And feel an affinity with most people. This is part of what I like about customer service. The ability to work with the public. To be able to serve people. Walking through the store I often stop assist people who look confused. Not only do I seem to know everyone at work. It seems they all know me. And I like to think most people like me. I try to be friendly, even to people I like less than others. But I accept most people openly as friends – at least at some level.

Tyrant. I get upset by people who don’t seem to do their fair share at work. And by fair share, I mean something close to the amount of work I do every day. People who lack a work ethic, or a concern about a good job bother me. And I find it hard to be friendly to these people. I can be short and abrasive with people I don’t respect. And there are a range of things which can earn my disrespect. One is disagreeing with me. But I try to put those feeling aside. When I don’t get my own way I can be unreasonably upset. Most of all when I feel like the person is being unreasonable themselves. Or just being obstinate. It makes me angry and I don’t always express myself in a positive way. I tend to direct people, and this can upset some people. While I don’t like being bossed around myself. I know I can come across as bossy myself. I make an effort to be a team player. My understanding of teamwork means giving input to team members. I try and often fail to do this from a space of equality. My idea of teamwork means accepting input too. But it isn’t easy for me. It is getting easier as I age. I need to learn to allow others to reject my input more gracefully.

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